Tween Advice: Accepting Gifts Graciously
Whether it was her birthday, or a special holiday, your tween has probably received a gift she hasn’t been too thrilled with in the past. Maybe it wasn’t exactly the gift she had hoped for, or it was a color she didn’t like, or the wrong size, or the present was just sooo not something she would ever wear.
You could sense her disappointment the minute she opened the gift, and you probably cringed when you saw the present, hoping and praying she wouldn’t relay her disappointment to the giver of the gift.
How can you prepare your tween to be a gracious gift receiver when you know your tween can barely control her emotions from one second to the next?
There is bound to come a time when she’s going to receive a gift she will just not like.
It’s called graciousness, and here are some ways to help teach her to accept all gifts graciously, no matter what the gift is!
1. If her birthday is coming up, or it’s around the holidays, practice being grateful. Seriously. Spend some time with your tween explaining that not every family member knows what she might like so there might be a gift or two that she might not love. Practice with her by looking in the mirror, smiling and saying, “Thank you for the ____.” And then think of another sentence that you can add along with it. If it’s a sweater, you can say, “It will go great with my new jeans,” or “I can wear this when it gets cold out.”
2. Teach her to appreciate the person, not necessarily the gift. Because you know the person who gave the gift loves your tween, remind your daughter of this and make sure to bring this idea home to her. Let this fact sink in. It’s hard for a tween to think much about anything other than her own self and sometimes she may need a reality check. Remind her of the fact that the person who gave her the gift put time, energy, thought and money into the gift.
3. If your tween ends up being able to return the gift, don’t feel bad about mentioning it in the thank you note — which she absolutely must write one. Simply be honest. Have your tween write something as simple as, “Thank you Aunt Jane for the sweater. While it was beautiful, it didn’t quite fit right, but I was able to exchange it for another pretty pink one that fit much better.”
Being honest is always the best way to deal with gifts you return, especially if Aunt Jane comes to your house and says, “Oh, why don’t you go put on that sweater I gave you for your birthday?” and you no longer have it!
4. As stated above, your tween must write a thank you note, no matter how much she disliked a gift. It’s just proper manners! And responding as soon as the gift is given is better than waiting around and forgetting about it. Again, it’s just good manners.
5. Teach your tween to hide her disappointment no matter how much she may dislike the gift. Here’s a great quote to teach her: “The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.” ― Pierre Corneille, Menteur, meaning simply to appreciate the giver.
About the Author:
Stephanie Elliot, in no particular order, is a wife, writer, blogger, book reviewer, editor and mother to three kids, two who have already been tweens, and one who is right smack in the middle of his tween-ness. Her oldest son is almost driving and her daughter survived her tween years so Stephanie must be doing something right. Find out more at stephanieelliot.com.
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