Gifts 4 Girls: Birthday Party Gifting Pressures, Busted!

We’re continuing our Gifts 4 Girls series with this incredible post from Robyn Bradley.

Ah, birthday parties! When we were kids (raise your hand if you remember the 70s and 80s!), it was all about Pin the Tail on the Donkey, cone-shaped hats, and those party favors that curled out and made noises when you blew into them. In other words, we lived in simpler times.

Today, it’s a different story. Kids’ birthdays often feature involved themes, expensive venues, and lots of planning stress for moms, dads, and the kids, not to mention the pressure that comes with buying gifts.

It’s a balancing act, for sure, which is why we thought we’d get insight from some mommy bloggers—ones who are deep in the trenches right now with their own daughters—on their recommended birthday party do’s and don’ts, specifically around the whole concept of buying gifts for girls… and all that this endeavor entails.

Meet Our Moms:
Tricia Meyer is a mom, blogger and affiliate marketer from Fishers, Indiana. She has two daughters ages 10 and 12, and her site is Helping Moms Connect.

Follow her @sunshinetricia

Pauline Molinari is mom to an 11-year-old daughter and the crafty maven from ClubChicaCircle.com, a crafty DIY blog intended to inspire creativity in tween girls and their moms. She co-founded the site with her sister, Lynnee Jimenez, who also has a tween daughter.

Follow her @ChicaCircle

Julie Spano describes herself as a freelance writer, mother of two (ages three and five), wife, chauffer, carpooler, and short-order cook from Atlanta who loves to drink hot coffee in the heat of the summer. Her blog is called Etsy Stalkers.

Follow her @etsystalkers

Gifts for Girls Done Right

So what does—and doesn’t—make for an acceptable gift? The adage we all know and love—it’s the thought that counts—still holds true (or should!), even today. Molinari says that large, extravagant gifts, like electronics or expensive jewelry, are not appropriate for tweens, but that fun, safe and inspiring gifts (think games, gift cards and homemade presents) are.

Meyer, too, appreciates the idea of homemade gifts and defines an acceptable gift as anything that your daughter makes or picks out for the birthday child. Spano echoes the importance of the “it’s the thought that counts” sentiment, noting, “Honestly, any gift should be appreciated, unless of course you’re re-gifting it to the person that originally gave it to you. Awkward!”

The moms also agree that when it comes to selecting a gift, it’s important to involve your child…and to even ask the gift recipient (or her parents) what she likes. This way, you can make sure you get something the child is into. As Spano points out, “No matter what the age, nothing is worse than having to pretend you like that ugly picture frame with hearts and ponies on it. Trust me on this.”

The Gift Certificate Conundrum

So, is it OK to give gift certificates to kids? Our three moms think so. Molinari says, “For children eight and older, gift certificates can make a great gift option. From my own personal experience, my tween loves the independence of shopping for something and paying for it herself at the cash register within her gift certificate budget. They will appreciate the opportunity to make their own choices. We still include a personal item or note to make the gift a little more special.”

Spano adds, “Here’s the deal, sometimes (most times) you have absolutely no idea what a kid is into (and most of the time you don’t really want to). If that’s the case, go for the gift card but make it for a unique place⎯for example (drumroll, please) Etsy.”

Meyer, too, believes gift certificates can work, especially for older kids, but she also stresses the importance of adding some personalization. Meyer says, “They are especially nice if you pick one out for a certain place that you know the birthday child likes to shop and include a note about why you picked it out for them rather than just a generic card telling them to do whatever they want.”

The Gift “Cost” Conundrum

So what’s the protocol on price? If your child receives an especially pricy gift from a friend, should you reciprocate when the friend’s birthday party comes around? While it’s understandable you might put pressure on yourself to reciprocate, the moms we talked to again stress the importance of the thought, rather than the cost, behind the gift.

Molinari says, “If my child receives an expensive gift from a friend, we don’t feel obligated to reciprocate for the same amount. Some of our most treasured gifts are based on the effort put to make it unique (especially hand crafted or customized gifts) vs. spending a lot of money.”

Meyer agrees that you don’t need to reciprocate with giving gifts of the same amount, but she also adds that it doesn’t hurt to take it into consideration: “Set your price range that you usually spend on gifts for other kids and base the price on the relationship your child has with the recipient and how it fits into your budget. You never know—they may have re-gifted the present they gave your child or gotten it at a really big discount.”

Spano offers a response that many moms might appreciate: “To me, it’s always the uniqueness of the gift that matters more than the price. Save your money and use it towards a manicure. Hey, you deserve it.”

Final Words of Wisdom

When it comes to picking out gifts for tween girls, our moms are quick to stress the importance of making it personal by offering a thoughtful gift, one that has meaning for both the gift giver and the recipient.

“No matter what the gift,” Molinari says, “a personal note or card from your child is always a good gift-giving practice. It doesn’t have to be about the money or how much the gift costs. If it comes from the heart, it will always be appreciated and remembered.”

Related:

• Finding Gifts for Tween Girls on Etsy